Happy New Year! A recent conversation with a peer inspired my first blog post of 2025. She expressed interest in the line between insulation and self-regulation, which got me thinking about the relationship between self-regulation, insulation and self-isolation and how they’ve manifested in my life and the lives of those I work with.
I’ve always been a bit of a “self-isolator.” It’s been my default coping mechanism for much of my life when faced with challenges. This habit became particularly reinforced during periods of relationship problems and personal setbacks.
During episodes of poor mental health and later chronic illness flare-ups, I leaned even harder into self-isolation. I reasoned that I couldn’t afford any additional stress that might worsen my symptoms.
For those living with chronic illness, the line between insulation and self-isolation may often feel blurry. Sometimes, it’s essential to step back from activities that feel too stimulating or overwhelming because you simply don’t have the mental, emotional or physical capacity.
However, this can spiral into avoiding situations that could potentially be too stimulating or stressful. When this happens, what started as healthy insulation can slip into less helpful self-isolation.
The more we isolate ourselves, the easier it becomes to develop limiting beliefs or distorted narratives. We might begin relying heavily on past experiences as predictors of future outcomes, leading to thoughts like:
Why should I bother [dating/starting that business/going after the promotion/attending that event/learning a new skill] if it’s just going to feel like too much?
Self-Regulation vs. Insulation
The line between self-regulation and insulation can be nuanced, as both involve managing stimuli and emotional responses.
Insulation: A strategic approach to shield yourself from stressors/overexposure while staying engaged. It involves creating a buffer to preserve energy, support recovery, and maintain balance.
Example: Attending a social event but leaving early or staying in a quieter area to prevent overstimulation.
Self-regulation: Actively partnering with your nervous system to return to your Window of Tolerance (the zone where emotional arousal can be processed). Regulation involves processing emotions, sensations, and discomfort, while maintaining connection, using tools like mindful breathing, movement, EFT (tapping), or self-touch to restore balance.
Example: Feeling anxious and using grounding techniques to down-regulate and re-engage in a challenging situation.
Self-isolation: Intentionally withdrawing from others or activities to avoid stress or overwhelm. It often arises as a survival response when the nervous system is highly dysregulated or during times of low capacity. While protective, overuse can lead to stagnation, reduced resilience, and disconnection.
Example: Canceling social plans because the idea of being around people or having to advocate for your needs feels too overwhelming.
The Overlap
Understanding the distinctions between self-isolation and insulation, and their interplay with self-regulation, can shed light on how we navigate challenges, particularly with chronic illness or invisible conditions.
There are times when insulation is a useful temporary strategy, especially during moments of overwhelm, sensory sensitivity, burnout or flare-ups. The key is integrating regulation practices during these times to help transition insulation into improved adaptability. Without this, prolonged insulation can slip into avoidance or extended self-isolation.
By recognizing these dynamics and incorporating intentional tools for nervous system regulation, we can cultivate resilience and maintain a balance between protection and connection.
Practical Steps for Applying This to Your Life
You may have areas of your life that you've been less engaged with, but now feel ready to focus on and pursue more fully. In these situations, it’s helpful to get clarity on what goals truly matter to you and understand why they're meaningful. Ask yourself: Is this something I want for myself (right now), or is it something I feel I should want or do? This clarity helps you understand whether your desire for change is rooted in a genuine interest or external pressure.
Once you’ve identified your authentic goals, reflect on your default strategy when it comes to pursuing them. For example, if you desire more socializing, are you proactive in giving or accepting invitations? When you are in a social setting, do you purposefully manage your emotional arousal, or do you feel overstimulated and drained afterward?
Capacity and Tolerance
Understanding your capacity and tolerance limitations is critical for individuals with chronic illness and/or neurodiversity, as these conditions can make you more prone to dysregulation.
Capacity refers to physical or emotional bandwidth. If you’re exhausted or fatigued, you may find it difficult to engage socially, regardless of your tolerance.
Tolerance refers to emotional thresholds. You might have the energy to attend a social event but not be able to handle the intensity or noise of the environment.
Capacity can fluctuate throughout the day depending on internal and external conditions, which is why activity pacing, resting, and setting boundaries are essential. These practices ensure that you're able to engage in your goals and daily life without draining your energy.
Tolerance is about how much we can handle before it becomes overwhelming, triggering a fight/flight/freeze response, burnout, or emotional overload. Incorporating regulation tools that support your nervous system, like deep breathing, EFT (tapping), or grounding exercises, helps you stay within your Window of Tolerance.
As a coach, I help clients assess their capacity and tolerance so they can understand fluctuations and identify patterns over time, which inform a personalized approach to progress. By tracking energy levels and emotional responses, we can create strategies that allow you to engage sustainably.
Final Thoughts
Identifying what drives your behaviour is key to understanding what your nervous system needs. Are you temporarily protecting yourself to regain energy (insulation), or are you avoiding situations or connections (self-isolating)?
If you're insulating, you may benefit from monitoring your capacity, making lifestyle modifications, and advocating for yourself to ensure you have the necessary support and accommodations.
However, if you’re self-isolating, you may need to gradually reintroduce exposure to social situations (as an example), while also integrating nervous system regulation techniques to build tolerance without overwhelming your system.
By approaching challenges more intentionally, you can gradually expand your Window of Tolerance, preserving your capacity for what matters most. This process not only builds internal resilience but also improves your ability to respond effectively to life's demands.
Ready to shape your identity and purpose after a chronic illness diagnosis or burnout? Subscribe to my newsletter 'Rooted & Rising,' a weekly series of reflections, case studies and nervous system support. Get unstuck and create the next version of yourself!
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