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Writer's pictureCaitlin Oliver

How Nervous System-Informed Coaching Supports Lasting Change

Updated: Nov 7


Portrait of a Caucasian woman with chin-length blonde hair, wearing a black bikini top and white vest. She has her eyes closed, with one hand gently resting on her chest, giving a calm andPortrait of a Caucasian woman with chin-length blonde hair, wearing a black bikini top and white vest. She has her eyes closed, with one hand gently resting on her chest, giving a calm and introspective expression. introspective expression.

In recent years, conversations around mental and physical well-being have expanded to recognize the powerful role our bodies play in processing information and managing stress.


Nervous System-Informed Coaching is an approach that recognizes how our nervous system shapes emotional regulation, stress responses, attachment, and overall health. For many people, especially those navigating chronic stress (burnout), trauma, or chronic illness, traditional personal development approaches can feel too rigid or even overwhelming. Coaching through the lens of the nervous system provides a flexible, adaptive approach to growth and progress.


In this post, I’ll provide an overview of what Nervous System-Informed Coaching is, why it is valuable, what a session might look like, and who could benefit most from this approach (hint: just about anyone)


What is Nervous System-Informed Coaching?

Nervous System-Informed Coaching recognizes that each person's nervous system is unique, and shaped by factors like past experiences, trauma, and health conditions. These factors impact how we think, feel, and respond to life’s challenges—and therefore; how well we engage in personal development. Every person has unique:


  • Neurological limitations—physical, cognitive, energetic, psychological, and emotional capacities

  • Windows of Regulation (tolerance)—the optimal zone for managing emotions and stress in daily life. People experiencing chronic stress and chronic illness often have narrower windows or struggle to come back into their windows.

  • Neuroception—the neural circuits that detect and assess whether to pursue opportunities (safety) or avoid potential threats, which inform our responses (i.e. fight, flight, freeze etc.).


A nervous system-informed approach recognizes these differences, integrating body-brain education and resources to help you tailor the process to your individual needs.


Key Components of Nervous System-Informed Coaching

Whether you’re seeking coaching to clarify your vision, build skills and confidence for your business, or pursue health goals, one thing remains constant: you’ll be engaging your nervous system. Learning to map your nervous system, understand your patterns (default states), and identify supportive resources (specific to you) is essential for overcoming obstacles and limiting beliefs on your journey.


By understanding the role of the vagus nerve (the "two-way connection between the body and brain"), you can learn to shift your body’s stress response, promoting a sense of safety, resilience, and connection—key for meaningful growth.


This type of coaching goes beyond standard goal-setting methods. Here are some of the key elements that make it different:


1. Neurobiology Based

Coaches with training in nervous-system informed care understand how the nervous system functions, including concepts like dysregulation, the fight-flight-freeze response, and the "Window of Regulation" This helps them tailor their coaching to a client’s current state, ensuring that engagement feels safe and manageable.


A healthy nervous system isn’t always calm; the key is being able to navigate within our window or return to it when we’re outside. By creating new experiences and learning how to regulate ourselves, we stimulate neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to reorganize and form new connections, which allows us to reshape our responses and support lasting change.


2. Flexibility and Adaptability

For those with nervous system dysregulation, a rigid coaching framework can sometimes add unnecessary pressure. Nervous system-informed care, on the other hand, emphasizes flexibility and responsiveness. Instead of a one-size-fits-all approach, it recognizes that what works for one person may not work for another. Timing is everything, and action plans should adapt to your needs, respecting your unique capacity and maintaining a sustainable pace


3. Creating Safety

Nervous system-informed coaching cultivates a culture of safety and trust, providing clients with a secure space to explore their goals without requiring overexertion (e.g. hustle). By using trauma-informed practices, clients are encouraged to connect their brain and body, helping to release stress and emotional tension that may impede their progress.


The language we use directly impacts our nervous system. It’s not about sugar-coating an experience, but repetitive use of certain words can heighten nervous system activation and trigger stress responses.


Safety is more than just a cognitive experience—it’s a felt sense in the body. We can’t simply tell our nervous system to feel safe; we must show it. This is where co-regulation and guided practices come in. In sessions, we work together to create a supportive environment that fosters real transformation.


4. Holistic Perspective

A nervous system-informed approach considers the whole person: their emotional, psychological, and physical states, all of which are interconnected. Our nervous systems are shaped by past experiences and feelings that seem to arise suddenly can often be traced back to physiological responses linked to memories. Triggers can evoke fear and strong emotions, leading to reactive decisions.


Reshaping the nervous system requires creating an integration between our brain and body. By improving how we process information from our internal and external worlds, we can gain clearer insight, allowing us to make more values-aligned decisions that support our growth.


5. Empowerment and Self-Regulation

Ultimately, nervous system-informed coaching aims to empower clients by helping them understand their nervous system and how it influences their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Clients are guided to develop self-awareness and self-regulation strategies that enhance their ability to navigate challenges with confidence. This includes practicing a range of resources that you can use in your day-to-day, such as EFT tapping, which uses the body (tapping on acupressure points) and brain (affirmations) to shift and regulate uncomfortable emotions and transition to more nourishing ones.


For example, if you're working to set better boundaries, role-playing the dialogue is only one part of the process. Tuning into your body and learning how to get into the right state—mobilizing or discharging the energy and adopting the body position needed, helps you feel empowered to set that boundary effectively.


Why Nervous System-Informed Coaching is Different

Traditional coaching programs often rely on structured frameworks and accountability methods or emphasize specific outcomes. While these can be helpful for some, they can feel overwhelming—or even counterproductive—for someone with a dysregulated nervous system. For people experiencing chronic stress, trauma, or illness, coaching that prioritizes strict approaches (i.e. SMART goals) can inadvertently induce stress, making it harder to regulate and engage effectively.


Coaching isn't therapy and doesn't address trauma, but our nervous system influences the behaviours and attachments we bring to relationships, work, and personal growth. By recognizing and working with the body’s natural responses, nervous system-informed coaching creates a foundation for meaningful, lasting change.


For example, you wouldn’t train for a marathon in a month if you’ve never run before. You’d start with smaller, achievable goals, like preparing for a 5K over several months. Similarly, when pursuing our own goals, whether personal or professional, we should challenge (stretch) ourselves but without pushing beyond (overriding) our neurobiological limits to the point where we can no longer engage with the goal.


What to Expect in a Coaching Session

Curious about what a session might look like? Here’s a quick glimpse into how a coaching session might be structured:


  1. Check-In and Regulation: Sessions start with a check-in to see how you’re feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally. If desired, we can ground with a resource/tool to help you feel more present and regulated for the session.


  2. Exploring Goals or Intentions: We review progress on goals and celebrate any successes. If specific goals feel too rigid at this time, we'll discuss intentions and areas of growth that feel meaningful to you (like incorporating more play or gentle movement). Together, we'll work on specific requests you have around your goals, obstacles you're experiencing, and any observations you've made.


  3. Personalized Support, Education and Tools: Each session may involve techniques tailored to your needs that day, whether it’s EFT, breathing exercises, or other grounding practices that support nervous system regulation and can be used between sessions to build resilience. If interested, there may be an education component which can help with making connections and cultivating self-compassion. Here is a blog post I wrote about how understanding my nervous system is supporting my journey learning Spanish.


  4. Closing and Next Steps: At the end of the session, we’ll take time to reflect and define small, actionable steps to move forward. This wrap-up is intended to leave you feeling centred, empowered, and supported.


Who Benefits from this Coaching Approach?

While my coaching practice primarily supports individuals living with chronic illnesses such as fibromyalgia, Long Covid, and ME/CFS, those experiencing burnout or seeking a more gentle approach can also greatly benefit. Partnering with our nervous system and building resilience is valuable for EVERY BODY. Many of us struggle with self-regulation and effective pacing, which can manifest in ways like perfectionism and shame.


For me, understanding the nervous system has been incredibly eye-opening. Since with fibromyalgia, the nervous system is stuck in the stress response; nervous system education has been valuable for managing my symptoms. It’s also given me more self-compassion and helped me understand why I sometimes struggle to progress toward certain goals. Creating my own "Library of Techniques"—a collection of knowledge and resources to draw from, has been empowering and incredibly supportive in my daily life.


Ultimately, I’ve noticed my "Window of Regulation" has widened. Situations that once felt overwhelming now feel more manageable, and I’m able to come back to a regulated state more quickly after intense emotions or stress arises. As a result, I’m seeing progress in areas where I previously felt stuck.


Want to Learn More?


If this approach resonates with you, I’d love to connect! Book a complimentary initial call here, and let’s chat.


I also offer 1:1 EFT tapping sessions, currently at a discounted rate. You can book directly here.


 

Resources to be added soon.

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